(Obviously there are other times when you need to feel and project warmth more than strength. You’re not worried. Caroline:           It’s fascinating. And then it’s finding the balance. They may be trying to juggle who they give money to. If you’ve ever needed to represent your charity at a meeting with someone important – eg a powerful supporter or a Board Member – then you know how easily those differences in power can harm your performance and increase your stress levels. Rob:                 But if within any typical week, like when you’re waiting for someone or whatever, you’ve got a few moments where normally you might play with your smartphone or whatever, there’s always 10 minutes now and again in a person’s day, practice being present. GralInt/PRESENT-TED Talks-The surprising secret to speaking with confidence | Caroline Goyder The following information is used for educational purposes only. * Why nerves are good* How to overcome blushing or shaking… It’s a bit delicate, George. That’s when it’s most powerful. Caroline:           So I started out in acting. Caroline:           Exactly. It’s oxytocin. To introduce today’s topic, if you’ve ever needed to meet someone important, perhaps they’re a major donor or a trustee or someone powerful at a corporate partner. And is there a voice that guides you through? Don't give a big speech. That’s a risk. I knew I was a good pilot. See more of Talk At TED on Facebook. Speaker and her Ted Talk has had 7 and a half million views which is really incredible. Rob:                 Yes, absolutely. And so she looked at what happens when humans make themselves very big. Caroline:           Definitely. And if you go in thinking, how can I help? Literally you are resonating your system. You don’t have to fill the silence. And he did. And then when you walk into a meeting with someone that you need to impress, where you need to feel confident, your voice, it’s like a warmed up engine. Caroline Goyder's global reputation as a speaker and voice coach is built on her warm, engaging, relaxed and highly practical style, and her expertise honed by her work with actors, teachers, broadcasters and the corporate sector. TED Conferences | 19,157,709 followers on LinkedIn. And I highly recommend this Ted Talk. Caroline McHugh at TEDxMiltonKeynesWomen. To join the 300 fundraisers already in the club or just to find out more go to brightspotfundraising.co.uk. When you walk into a meeting, do you need to play strength, palms down, focus on task. 6. But when you ask a maker to make a chest of drawers, they don’t always do what you think they are going to do. But watching, spending 20 minutes watching Amy Cuddy with the science behind it, of how within just two minutes you feel different if you have the discipline to go to the bathroom before your big meeting and do this? Rob:                 And I realized that the Rob that shows up most of the time is a palms up Rob. A relaxed breathing pattern. What’s your tip about why we should pause, how to do it, how it helps? What if I mess it up?” And he realized, he said, “Sitting at the other side of the table with the casting director, we were just as worried about getting it wrong.”. Pages: First |1 | ... | → | Last | View Full Transcript. Joe soldiers and weaponry. Related Pages. The voice is a very unrecognized, underestimated part of who we are. In this episode Rob Woods interviews the best-selling author, voice coach and gravitas expert, Caroline Goyder. Rather than adrenaline. Caroline:           Absolutely. Rob:                 Yeah, so that’s a great tip. She’s the author of several excellent books and if you like Caroline’s ideas, I recommend you check out her brilliant new book which is called Find Your Voice. She has a great Ted Talk, so she’s worth looking up. And what actors would say is that it’s a kind of still grounded power, that it says I am worthy of your attention. The more task and strength. Our mission is to provide the most accurate transcripts of videos and audios online. Special Offer for Fundraising Bright Spots listeners – if you send a copy of your receipt by email to Caroline at her website at carolinegoyder.com, she will send you her Confidence Boosters audio course, which is normally £10 and the full set of her Gravitas Method audios, which are normally £50. And again, what you’re saying about the pressure on your shoulders to get that ask, that moment, right. We’re breathing. Through simple techniques to build your natural gravitas, you will learn how to express yourself clearly with passion and confidence to persuade, influence and engage listeners. Caroline:           So if you think of when you gesture, have your palms facing to the floor. If some level of more alpha is what will serve you on the day of that important meeting. or. And that in any kind of pitch or ask situation is really powerful. When I was seven years old and my sister was just five years old, we were playing on top of a bunk bed. It’s setting us up for a calm, present state under pressure. Facebook. I’m sharing it now because members of the Bright Spot Club have told me they absolutely love the down to earth nature of the tips you find in this interview and in the other training bundles that this expert teacher has made with us. As obvious as it sounds, when you truly seek to help others rather than look good / not mess up / serve your ego, you release more oxytocin, your energy softens, your confidence increases. Looking forward to it. She is the pioneer of The Gravitas Method and for 16 years she has coached actors, business leaders and fundraisers in how to speak with more confidence and authority, so as to reduce stress and improve results. So we all have habitual ways of showing up. And I often recommend to people you can do it on the tube. If you need help / sometimes lose willpower, the Headspace app is well worth trying – its free to try and very affordable if you keep going and makes a big difference. Any musician. Rob:                 So there we are. Where do we look? Caroline has written three books, ... Caroline Goyder's global reputation as a speaker and voice coach is built on her warm, engaging, relaxed and highly practical style, and her expertise honed by her work with actors, teachers, broadcasters and the corporate sector. So perhaps that also affects us. We’re at our best in compassion. And he said, “I used to think as an actor going into those auditions, God, it’s all about me. And she said, “When I go into the room there’s a kind of sense that I want to tell them stuff and I’m almost competing with them, because that’s what I do. And what she realized was that in the animal kingdom, when animals are frightened, they tend to either puff themselves up and make themselves big, if they want to fight. And on the other side were al… Yeah, because if you’re a sportsperson, if you’re Usain Bolt, you don’t just hope you’re going to be feeling good on the day. Follow the link to find out more about our 25% discount on annual club membership. ‘You already know how to speak confidently…with people you trust, you speak with ease and confidence. I think it’s the same kind of pressure. Bill Nighy’s tip to Caroline was to ‘flip your focus’ – ie Focus OUT not IN! And at its simplest, singing to the radio. It’ll have a lovely round resonance that will make others feel good. And then from what you found from coaching fundraisers so far, what are a couple of the common things that could cause them to not actually feel as confident as they’d like? Once Bill Nighy learned that those casting a film are under pressure, in future auditions he was able to switch on compassion ‘how can I help them’ which took him out of self-focus ‘what if I mess up?’. Log In. Yeah! And I looked out across the room and I said in my big voice — coach voice — there wasn’t this much wind at the time I have to say – and I said in my big voice coach voice: “Can you hear me at the back?”. Caroline Goyder has an international reputation for her work as an expert speaker and trainer with senior management within organisations as well as private individuals. In this fun and personal talk, Caroline shares a story of moving from stage-paralysis to expressive self. Caroline’s website and contact email are at carolinegoyder.com. The Surprising Secret to Speaking With Confidence by Caroline Goyder (Full Transcript), How to Control Emotion and Influence Behavior: Dawn Goldworm at TEDxEast (Transcript), TD Jakes on 3 Types of Friends (Transcript), The surprising secret to speaking with confidence by Caroline Goyder at TEDxBrixton, Full Transcript: The Psychology of Human Misjudgement: Charlie Munger, Students Need to Lead The Classroom, Not Teachers: Katherine Cadwell (Transcript), A Writer’s Secrets to Catching Creative Ideas: Brad Herzog (Transcript), Warren Buffett’s Advice to UNL 2020 Graduates (Full Transcript), Why Storytelling is So Powerful in The Digital Era: Ashley Fell (Transcript). If you found the ideas helpful, do remember to hit subscribe today so you don’t miss out on any of the other sessions, and I’d be incredibly grateful if you could spare a moment to share it on with anyone else who you think might find it helpful. Warm up your voice, and increase its variety, richness and power by practicing singing at home / while driving, even if you feel you’re no good at singing. And simply by getting that air onto the vocal folds, making sound, you’re warming it up. It’s Amy C-U-D-D-Y. Caroline:           Exactly. And what that does is it refuels the voice. Yes, that’s right. We want to have a calm, strong sense of ourselves and a trust in what we offer, and then we want to be able to open up to others. And I think it’s a kind of performance with a really important purpose. So let’s get into it. Palms down gesture often takes you into a more task style. Yeah, absolutely. So that simply by standing up straighter, doing what she calls the power pose, you shift your hormonal state and that gives you a sense of more confidence. Believe in yourself. TED is a nonprofit devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). It’s magnificent. We cover several different ideas, including how to make a particular physical shift that has an immediate impact on your gravitas. You're like, Caroline, a little fear would make sense here. And if you email Caroline your receipt, then as a thank you, she will send you both her new Confidence Boosters audio course, which is normally 10 pounds and the full set of her gravitas method audios, which are normally 50 pounds. Because you’ve just been hearing the voice is the most amazing instrument. Rob:                 Yeah. Rob:                 We can all do that. There’s going to be few ideas too. So check your focus is on how can I help them? Caroline trained as an actor, and then as a voice coach at Central School of Speech and Drama (CSSD), where she worked for ten years. Caroline Goyder is a voice coach, author and TEDx speaker. This is the show for anyone who works in fundraising and he wants ideas for how to raise more money, really enjoy their job and make a bigger difference. Trying to reconcile a couple of different pressures on them. Now we live in a really visual culture. To find out more, go to brightspotmembersclub/join. Singing is the way to a great voice. Caroline Goyder is an author and voice coach, with a lifelong curiosity in the question of how we find the courage to think for ourselves: aloud. That’s where we are going next, and the reason I want to talk about this is because many years ago, I stood in front of an audience this big, bigger at Central Hall, which is by the Houses of Parliament, a really big Methodist space. And what I want to talk about today is the idea that we can find more confidence within us if we know where to look. Photo: James Duncan Davidson. Caroline:           Which is a very generative, very powerful space. My grandmother always advised me to sit up straighter, but she said that to be polite, and that didn’t, no wonder I kept slouching. Caroline:           I think understanding your strengths and weaknesses in terms of your style is really important. Three lessons that I had to learn on the way. People in corporates, people in charities in particular. So, so literally you will feel calmer. When we pause, what we’re doing is closing our mouth really simply and inhaling. How often do you think about how yours work? Actually all of us have confidence within. So rather than focusing on building a friendship with them, you focus on getting a task done, which works well in finance, they’re tasky people. And I can tell you they really do work. We can either survive by strength or warmth. And one of the things that you learn in acting is that that’s not necessarily you. I’m looking at you, and you look like a really nice bunch with such great energy. Some of us go: Hey! It is this moment, isn’t it? The surprising secret to speaking with confidence | Caroline Goyder | TEDxBrixton TEDx Talks Published on Nov 25, 2014 This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Doing both those things? How some people show up all the time at work. And that is not the case. It’s natural to put the pressure on you the fundraiser, with unconscious and conscious questions to yourself along the lines of ‘what if I mess up?’ ‘what if I ask for too much / too little / offend her?’ etc. Caroline Goyder My pleasure, Pete. Have a conversation. Among many other things, it includes three longer film interviews with Caroline Goyder, including Winning Hearts and Minds and Grace Under Pressure.